okay pat passed out under dana's car
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think my moral compass just broke
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