No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
