That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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