My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
