Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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