i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
