I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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