Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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