Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
