help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
