Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
