I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
