We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
