Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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