I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
