Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
