Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
