$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're a waste of cheezeits
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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