i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
