I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
