I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
