i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
