A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
