Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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