we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
