when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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