You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
