you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
