Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
