I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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