Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize