my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Barsexuality is the new black.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
