Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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