He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
