it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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