Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
