She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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