I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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