hotel room ftw
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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