You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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