and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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