it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
