this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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