I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
