at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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