Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
