i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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