I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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