he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
