my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
