It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
