Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am naked and annoyed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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