so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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