Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
